There was a Jefferson Bethke meme that was floating around on Facebook which said:
“Dating with no intent to marry is like going to the grocery store with no money. You either leave unhappy or take something that isn’t yours.”
It captured my attention and lingered on my mind for several days. I used to be of a similar persuasion. I kissed dating goodbye and went to Joshua Harris’s dating conference and I opted to “court” instead of date around the age of 13. We talked about “dating with a purpose” and “guarding our hearts.”
The thing is my first relationship didn’t quite work out—even though we courted. I was very uncomfortable throughout the entire process. In fact, I recently came across an old journal I kept during that time and I’m appalled at how tortured the words are. Looking back, I realize I felt that I was committing to a person whom I greatly admired and saw as a friend, but didn’t know on a very personal level. And even though we courted, I could never let myself get to know him on a personal level because I was too stressed out about the marriage part.
After that experience I determined that courtship wasn’t for me. Continue reading